affably

I just spent the last hour trying to figure out a narrative ploy for an angel surviving getting stabbed with their own sword.* At first I thought "Hey, it's their own sword, it can't kill them!" But then I remembered that episode that I'd blocked out because it makes me so very sad and haven't been able to rewatch yet despite its awesome gods as well as the way Urinal was stabbed by Anna back in season 4 and probably a billion examples. Maybe it's a face stab thing? Or maybe it really isn't just possible. Clearly I need to rewatch episodes, oh woe.

Nothing will convince me that the sword Dean used to kill Zachariah wasn't totally Castiel's. Because I like it okay. That's going to be my bit of fanon and that's that. Plus the justice is delicious.

Anyone know what kind of swords they've been using as angel swords? It's almost looks like a gladius but the pommel isn't knobbed, plus the size difference so idk maybe — since that was added for grip and angel swords are manifested supernatural metaphysical objects anyway is it too different fffff. But it does look kind of Roman, if you kind of change out the hilt and squint? Yeah, maybe not, since their angel swords have been a slow taper and — whatever. I do like the general blade shape of the gladius or even the midrib shit going on with the xiphos and angel swords can look different if I want them to so. Nyah. Whatever, I clearly know nothing about swords how embarrassing.

This bit of OCD detail probably won't even make it in whatever it is I'm not writing anyway. I just enjoy the research frenzy. And imagining Castiel do that one-handed sword-twirl. What a bamf.

P. S. How awesome would it be to see an angel fight with one of these bad boys? I can dream, can't I?

While typing this up we had a 6.4 earthquake because Oki is TRYING TO KILL ME WITH NATURAL DISASTERS THIS YEAR. At least it's better than the 7ish one we had in February, though this one went on for way longer because it was only 10 km down.

* ETA: Turns out it was something I didn't need to worry about anyway! Way to fail, self.

Bear with me, I'm half-stoned on cold medication right now (which apparently could get me arrested in this country for drug possession of all things — so we'll keep it on the downlow) but I've wanted to do something fic-positive rather than just yelling at thisbrain when I read something that made me crazy.

A fic preferences meme, stolen from architeuthis.
+ Your pairing of choice

+ Your surefire, bulletproof kinks

+ Your most surprising, dirty little secret kinks

+ Who tops/bottoms

+ Squicks

+ Cliches/tropes common in your fandom that just don't do it for you

+ Your ultimate/ideal fic

We'll stick with Supernatural fandom(s) here.

( That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you )

So I was watching Aladdin and since I now queerify every story I enjoy as recast with CW actors, I caught myself thinking that this would be easy to write as a J2. Jared could be Aladdin, poor but good-hearted and running around being a riff-raff, and Chad Michael Murray could be his-only-friend Abu (what!), Jensen could be Jas- no, Sandy could be Jasmine, and Jensen could be a ridiculously pretty Genie (bonus points for begrudging shirtlessness) trying to get them together, and —

And then I stopped. Because wait, has someone written this story? Have I read it? Is Tyler my bad dream or am I Tyler's?

I feel like this has to exist. Somehow.

RPF AUs basically do what Hollywood does when it pairs up famous people in movies to attract audiences: cast familiar famous faces and personalities into new roles and see what entertaining combinations come out.

What is Mr. and Mrs. Smith but an RPF story on the screen? Who wants to see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have sexual chemistry while being secret agents that are trying to kill each other but are actually married? A lot of people, actually. The big draw of the film is not, in fact, that they are secret agents but that it's Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie being secret agents. Their star image submerges the characters, and that's why they are using the stars.

That's what RPS AUs are all about. Because whether we admit it to ourselves or not, celebrities in our culture are characters, and characters that we want to see in different situations but still essentially be themselves. That's why we have actors that are just playing a certain character which we call "themselves" — like Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson — that completely overwhelm our image of them as less than larger-than-life people.

At least in RPS stories the writers are not confusing the actors with their on-screen characters. I have yet to see "Dean" confused as "Jensen", or vice versa beyond maybe some minor acknowledged character bleed characteristics. And while some of the stories that happen are kind of horrifying that they exist that I would like to bleach from my brain or smite from the interwebs, the fact of the matter is celebrities are a constructed fiction. Sorry guys. I know you just wanted to act and maybe do something more fun than just being a pretty teen heartthrob.

Celebrities are almost always trying to either reshape or maintain their star image, but their star image is always a performance as much as "we" try to penetrate their inner lives. That's why reality shows about Paris Hilton's life exists, why there are gossip columns, why the news reports stories of them having children. In any case, RPS is well aware that it is fiction, and is not trying attempting to malign or damage anyone in the process except maybe Chad Michael Murray. Okay, I kid. But even beyond the "lol porn" aspect it is a fascinating phenomenon and evolution of the image of celebrity: if you have any doubt, look at Misha Collins' Twitter, where he LARPs as himself.

In pandarus's RPS AU story Starstruck, she writes in the author's note:

I'm pretty sure that I'm not really doing RPS 'properly', but I don't care. Notwithstanding the fact that I'm appropriating the names and physiognomies of the people in question, this is very much NOT about actual Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Katie Cassidy or anyone else. This is me playing at writing a big gay version of 'Notting Hill', and casting various actors in various roles in my movie. But they're clearly not playing themselves.

Oddly enough, this is exactly what it's all about.

On the whole though, I wish it were a more private enterprise, because these people fandom writes about are adored (well, as characters of their own lives), but I wish that they weren't made uncomfortable so often by their fans, especially in public. I have my doubts that I could enjoy a convention. Fandom is scary.

In conclusion,

Fuck it is fucking September. FIVE DAYS? I cannot deal with this.

Dear Self,

You need to chill the fuck out and stop watching this video and cracking the hell up. It is not healthy to laugh this much. I don't think.


But distracting myself with silly things will only work for so long.

In the meantime, I've been watching random episodes for refreshers here and there, and, well...
( My ability to control what I say while watching them alone has gone out the window )

Jared, how the hell are you losing to Tom Welling?? At least the Sci-Fi bracket brought their A game.

Also, go go gadget shooting pregnant chicks. \o/ Actually, I'm very proud of you for that one. Too bad it wasn't Kate Milligan.

The Ken-doll girls are out in force today and being all "I HAVE 4000 pictures of DEAN saved" (direct quote) and "Eric Brady is sooo dreamy and we're gonna get married soon!" (paraphrased). They must be stopped. CONSTANT VIGILANCE. I kind of expect them to yell "Death to the infidel!" and spring out at me while wearing Templar team colors. It would be nice if Sam torched them with a blowtorch. Just, hypothetically.